Anyone still out there?
I needed a monster break. So, I ditched my blog and my facebook and went and wrote elsewhere. I don't stop writing. Sometimes I just write for strangers instead of you guys.
I tried to post the night before Thanksgiving, but I couldn't remember the email address to send the post to, so it has been sitting in my drafts folder.
I'm not going to promise to post with any specific amount of regularity, but I'm going to make an effort to blog again.
Here's the Thanksgiving post:
Usually I make a list of things I'm thankful for to put up on the blog that are things besides family, friends, etc.
However, this year, I'm so overwhelmed with love for the people in my life that they are all I have room in my heart and head to think or talk about.
Tonight was hard. I thought it was hard because I was tired and the grocery store was a train wreck and Silas was cranky. But one bad, split-second fail put it all in perspective.
When we got home, I was in such a hurry and so irritable that I failed to take the normal steps I take to protect Silas from the stairs that lead to our front door.
In one horrible thud, he fell from the stairs and landed on the concrete. He was in so much pain and so afraid, and it was my fault.
I'm panicky when Silas is hurt. Michael is always the one who's level headed and keeps me calm. But this time, he wasn't here.
I'd like to say I pulled myself together and took charge of the situation, but I didn't. Instead, I fell apart and let the terror and guilt win and called my mom and cried. Then I text her after we hung up. Then when Silas threw up all over us, I called her and cried again.
She took care of us the way she always does. She knew exactly what to do, and she swooped in to help me take care of the most precious person in my world.
Maybe one day I'll be that mom for Silas. I pray that I will.
Over the past year, the beautiful people in my life have helped me hold it together when I've desperately wanted to fall apart.
Without Michael, my mom, Kaylan, Michael's mom and dad, Randi, Candice and so many others (and please don't be offended if I didn't call you by name because the list could go a mile), I cannot see how I would have possibly made it.
I'm so thankful Silas is okay and that I wasn't sitting in the bathroom floor, covered in vomit with no one to call.
I love you all so much. My family, my long time friends, and my newest friends. Thank you for taking the time to know me and for being so wonderful to me. Thank you for all your hugs, support, encouragement and patience when it would be so much easier to give up on me.
You all hold such a special place in my heart.
Happy Thanksgiving!
However, this year, I'm so overwhelmed with love for the people in my life that they are all I have room in my heart and head to think or talk about.
Tonight was hard. I thought it was hard because I was tired and the grocery store was a train wreck and Silas was cranky. But one bad, split-second fail put it all in perspective.
When we got home, I was in such a hurry and so irritable that I failed to take the normal steps I take to protect Silas from the stairs that lead to our front door.
In one horrible thud, he fell from the stairs and landed on the concrete. He was in so much pain and so afraid, and it was my fault.
I'm panicky when Silas is hurt. Michael is always the one who's level headed and keeps me calm. But this time, he wasn't here.
I'd like to say I pulled myself together and took charge of the situation, but I didn't. Instead, I fell apart and let the terror and guilt win and called my mom and cried. Then I text her after we hung up. Then when Silas threw up all over us, I called her and cried again.
She took care of us the way she always does. She knew exactly what to do, and she swooped in to help me take care of the most precious person in my world.
Maybe one day I'll be that mom for Silas. I pray that I will.
Over the past year, the beautiful people in my life have helped me hold it together when I've desperately wanted to fall apart.
Without Michael, my mom, Kaylan, Michael's mom and dad, Randi, Candice and so many others (and please don't be offended if I didn't call you by name because the list could go a mile), I cannot see how I would have possibly made it.
I'm so thankful Silas is okay and that I wasn't sitting in the bathroom floor, covered in vomit with no one to call.
I love you all so much. My family, my long time friends, and my newest friends. Thank you for taking the time to know me and for being so wonderful to me. Thank you for all your hugs, support, encouragement and patience when it would be so much easier to give up on me.
You all hold such a special place in my heart.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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