Try it, you might like it

I don't generally do blogs about products, but I feel compelled to write this one.

As I have mentioned, I have incredibly terrible eczema and wash my hands neurotically (which exacerbates it).

My sweet boy Gavin inherited this lovely skin disease from me as well.  His is worse than mine because it breaks out all over his little body (whereas mine is pretty much limited to my hands, ears, and eyelids).  

Anyway, I have been seeing doctors and dermatologists and buying lotions and creams and cortisone and filling endless prescriptions for years now.  I can keep mine mostly under control if I follow a strict regimen of creams and lotions, etc....except my hands.  They just crack and bleed and hurt constantly.

I took to putting my prescription and lotion on at work and then wearing a latex glove over that hand to keep it from wiping off.  My coworkers thought I was crazy, and it didn't work.  Still cracked.  Still very painful.

Gavin's stays under control as long as I can coax him to let me bathe him in lotion and cortisone at least twice a day.  I'm not sure if you've ever tried to convince a two year old to sit still for any amount of time twice a day, but good luck.

Anyway, I had pretty much convinced myself I was doomed to cracked hands and wrestling my toddler for the rest of forever.

A couple of weeks ago, I finished studying and pulled my headphones (I wear my headphones for the gun range when I study) off my head to Jimmy grabbing the remote and saying animatedly, "You need to watch this!"

"This" was an episode of Shark Tank he had recorded while I studied.  On it was a woman who had spent much of her childhood fighting eczema.  At the age of 11, she figured out a formula to a sugar scrub that rid her of her skin problems.  She had formed a company (Simple Sugars) to sell the scrubs and needed an investment, etc., etc.

The girl was very likeable (spell check tells me it's "likable" but that looks wrong, so I persist) and convincing, and when she stated the price of her products, I immediately went to my laptop and searched out her site.  (Um, they're very reasonably priced).

I placed my order and waited for it to arrive.  After a week or so I got my package in the mail.  Since it is a small business and had just appeared on Shark Tank, I was pleasantly surprised that the product arrived so quickly.

I had ordered a body scrub with the addition of emu oil, a facial scrub, and a foot scrub.  I read the instructions and the packaging said the products are gentle enough to use every day.

So, I began using them once a day.

I gave Gavin a bath and did my best to use the body scrub on him that night.  You're supposed to "scrub" it until it dissolves.  Well, of course that wasn't happening.  So, I just did the best I could to get it rubbed on all of his rough patches of skin, rinsed, and patted him dry.

The next morning, his eczema was gone.  Completely gone.  ALL. OF. IT.  It has been a week now, and it has not returned.

My hands?  Absolutely no cracking or bleeding.  I have made a point to only use the scrubs and none of my prescribed or previously purchased products during this time in order to see how well the scrubs work.

The face scrub leaves my face feeling baby soft (maybe even softer than Viv's...I'm just saying), and the foot scrub leaves my feet feeling like I just got a pedicure...like literally just got out of the chair.  This is not after several uses; it's the very first time.  The scents I ordered smell incredible (strawberry for the face scrub and green apple for the body scrub).  

My people are getting this stuff for Christmas, y'all.

Now, the site (and the owner) does not claim that the product will cure skin diseases.  There is no guarantee.  All I can tell you is that these products worked for me and Gavin, and they are well worth the minimal price even if you don't have a skin disease you're looking to annihilate.  

If you'd like to check out the website, it is here :http://www.simplesugarsscrub.com/

How's it going?

I'm not sure how I have time to blog.  I'm not sure how I get to go home tonight and not bury myself in a textbook or a discussion forum or a writing assignment.  I'm not going to question it.  I'm just going to revel in my 24 hours of "freedom."

There is something incredible about learning again.  I didn't realize how much I missed going to school.  I'm having to sweep the cobwebs out of my brain and Google things like "MLA formatting" which was once an everyday part of my life.

I think this is a good time in life for me to have gone back to school.  I remember hardly ever doing my assigned readings in college.  I'd attend the lectures and write my papers and take my tests.  But for grad school, I am reading everything.  And then if the discussion topic still makes no sense to me (as often it does not) I go in search of outside material.  I want to actually learn everything I can from this opportunity.

When I finish reading my assigned readings for the night, often I'll engage Jimmy in a debate about whatever our topic is in class.  He and I have different views on all manner of things, and he is incredibly knowledgeable, and he loves and respects me, so he is fun to debate.  We paused our favorite show for an hour and a half one night to debate the death penalty.

My biggest fear at the outset of this journey was that I would not be able to find my balance.  It is what I strive for constantly - even before I threw school into the circus.

What I have learned is that I have to make it a priority.  I have to gauge whether it is a night when I can go upstairs and shut my door and study before the kids go to bed or whether they need me in the mix.  

Gavin is at a really tough age.  He has frequent meltdowns and outbursts.  I've been a mom long enough to know that all it is is that his little brain can't always process everything he is feeling (or wanting or needing) into words.  So, sometimes it comes out as him screaming his head off and kicking the walls.  So, I try to be extra aware of what kind of day he is having.

Silas is so grown up.  He makes me proud all the time.  I'll pick him up from school, and he will ramble off into some story where a kid was afraid to get his backpack from behind the "big scary pirate ship" (a Halloween decoration they had up), so Silas went back and retrieved it for him.  He tries so hard to be an all around good person.  He's so tough on himself when he makes a mistake, and it takes a lot of dialogue to make him understand that he does not have to be perfect.  He can make mistakes and not be the best at everything.  I'm trying very hard to combat the anxiety that has festered up in him.  Pray that I am able to do that.

And Vivian.  She is thisclose to walking.  She could totally do it if she wanted to, but she doesn't.  I cannot even begin to describe her and do her any kind of justice.  She is bright and beautiful and already shows so many signs of intelligence.  She is charming and sweet and demanding and loud.  She loves everyone.  

She and Gavin have their own language.  Last night each of them sat on one side of my lap, and they spoke back and forth in their own (very loud) giberrish and just giggled and played.  And she has picked up (or inherited?) so many of his mannerisms.  

He flip flops back and forth between absolutely adoring her (his face lights up every time he says her name: "Bi-be-in") to being so jealous of her he wants to beat her up.  I really think they are going to besties one day.

Jimmy has been my absolute rock.  On the days when I'm exhausted and want to quit, he encourages me to keep going and reminds me that it will be worth it.  When I got a B on a paper and was pissed, he pushed me to do whatever I needed to get an A on the next one.  When I want to engage him in whatever we're talking about in class, he gamely participates.  When he can tell I'm overwhelmed with all I have to do, he steps in and insists I go upstairs and take whatever time I need to get caught up - he handles all the rest.

There is a light at the end of this tunnel.  I have two weeks left in this class, and then I get a break (hallelujah!)...and then I have only 11 more classes before I earn my degree...sigh.

It will all be worth it!

Let it go...

Most of us have that person we go to when our significant other is driving us nuts.

I am that person for a few people, and I'm not sure if I view my role properly after an exchange I had last night.  So, I thought I'd just put it out there and see what others think.

When someone I consider a true friend comes to me with a relationship problem, I initially allow that person to vent.  Once they have gotten it out of their system, I then try to give them a perspective based on being logical and rational.

If you're my friend, I find it important not to just tell you what you want to hear if I don't believe that's what you need to hear.  If you're my friend, I'm invested in what is best for you and your family.

So, if your husband did something ridiculous, I'm going to tell you, "that was ridiculous."  But I'm not then going to sit there and bash him and tell you to leave him (unless he hit you cause then he can go to hell.  Pack your shit and come sleep on my couch).

Instead, I'm going to give you advice based on who he is, who you are, and the circumstances in your life.  I'm going to try to see it from both sides and tell you something like, "what you have to decide is whether this fight is worth ripping apart your family because if it's not, you get to be mad for a reasonable amount of time, and then you have to work it out like adults."

Most fights are not worth ripping apart your family.  Yes, there are exceptions.  Yes, there are people who are just not meant to be together.  But until you make that decision for yourself, I am always going to encourage you to try to fix the immediate problem, let it go, and move on with your life.

I had a whole conversation last night about forgiveness.  This particular friend stated that she doesn't believe in forgiveness and that her partner doesn't deserve it for what he did.

I tried again and again to reason with her and explain, "forgiveness really has nothing to do with whether or not he deserves it.  Forgiveness is truly about allowing yourself to live in peace."  And I believe that.

Jimmy and I had lunch with Michael and Heather at their home on Sunday.  We all talked and laughed and watched football and had a nice time.

As the product of two divorced parents, I know the turmoil my children would endure if I harbored anger and hatred and resentment for Michael and Heather.  I would be creating a toxic environment and forcing guilt onto my children for loving their dad and step-mom.  I would be making them feel like they need to choose sides and have some sort of weird loyalty to one or the other of us.  My grown up crap is not their problem.  It's my responsibility as their mom to make their environment as healthy and nurturing as I can.

I just can't see the point in living in misery or putting my kids through hell to hold onto pain I endured years ago that actually worked out to make my life much better in the end.

And I don't have to fake it.  I forgave them for what they did to hurt me, and it allows me to be at peace with my life and with them.  It allows me to be friends with my ex-husband and the woman he raises our kids with.  It allows me to see Heather as a good person who cares very genuinely about my children.  It allows my children to be able to just love the people they love without having to worry about whether or not it's going to hurt or bother me.

That is the entire point of forgiving people.  So that you can let go of your hurt and move past it.  Even if you choose to never speak to that person again - or have not spoken to the person for years - don't let pain someone else caused you determine whether or not you are going to be happy.

People who harbor anger and bitterness and resentment cannot be happy.  They are allowing someone else's disregard for their feelings to destroy them.  It's so illogical, it makes my head hurt.

Because this is how I view the world, it is the only way I can see advising my friends when they seek my advice.  Even if I cannot stand their significant other (oh, and there are some I just cannot), I'm still going to encourage them find a way to live at peace with that person while they are in a relationship with them - especially if they raise children together.

So, if you're coming to me in hopes that I'm going to tell you that your S.O. is scum and deserves to be drawn and quartered, it's not going to happen - unless that person hit you - then I'm all about it.  If your S.O. was a moron who forgot your anniversary or hasn't helped with the dishes in two months, I'm going to tell you that you have to find a way to work it out as adults and not let it destroy your inner peace.

And I'm going to do that because I value you and think you deserve genuine happiness and truly believe that's the only way to have it.

Now, am I wrong for that?  Honestly?  Should I just jump on whatever train you're riding and tell you that he's a pig and deserves to sleep on the couch for a month?  I just can't see it, but I'm open to listening to your opinions.