It's work, y'all

I'm not sure if you remember how badly I suck at mornings.  Suffice it to say: if there was an award for sucking at mornings, I would win it every year, hands down.

There used to be just two of us, and one of us had basically given up on looking presentable in public.  Ponytail? check. Ill-fitting garments? check. Ugly black flats? check. Zero makeup? check.  And I still could not get us out the door in time.

That brings me to the present where there are now three of us to get ready.  

One of us is quite unpredictable about when he wants to eat.  However, once he decides it is time, you damn well better drop everything you are doing and make it happen NOW or there will be consequences.  He'll projectile vomit all over your work clothes and then laugh at you.  He ain't scared.

Then there is Silas.  My sweet angel baby three year old boy who hates everything about waking up before 10 am - at the very earliest.  There is always snot involved and tears and turning into a limp noodle and falling out in the floor.  Now throw in his collar bone injury, and the world is coming to an end with every change of every shirt.

Did I mention I still have two dogs?  They're assholes, my dogs.  They skipped the meeting where the packet on how to be "man's best friend" was handed out.  They were no doubt off somewhere barking their fool heads off at a cat or a kid on a bike or a leaf blowing in the wind.  Perhaps tearing up the trash and dragging it all over the kitchen floor?  No telling, but whatever it was, it wasn't good.

And me.  I'm trying y'all.  I'm trying hard to not drag into work looking a hot mess every day.  I'm trying hard to wear clothes that fit and cute high heels and to flat iron my hair and slap some makeup on my face.  It's so much freaking work. 

And once we're all ready?  Then comes the part where I have to find everyone's crap and place it in everyone's respective bags and give everyone whatever medicine they need.  I have not once made it out of the house without forgetting something since I started back to work.  Not one time.

After I finally manage to make it down the steps and into the car with both of my children and all of our bags and buckle everyone in, I have to sit in the driver's seat and take a minute to collect myself.  

By the time I drop them off and make it to work, I feel relieved.  Yes, I probably forgot something.  Yes, I probably lost my patience.  Yes, I probably found myself on the verge of tears.  

But I get to see those two beautiful faces when I get off work, and we get to do the hectic night routine, and I get to wake up tomorrow morning and hug those perfect gifts from God and do it all again.  

I assure you: they are worth every bit of the work it takes to get us through the days, and I would not change a single thing.

A long overdue update

You missed me, right?

Blogging from an iPad with a baby in one arm and a toddler in the other is hard.  And I'm lazy.  So, I gave up for a while.

Now I'm back to work.  So, you are free to come read my blather once more.

Gavin is huge.  He's got a definite Elmer Fudd thing going on.  He's such a happy little baby.  The smiling and cooing and babbling have started, and it's delicious.  I could just eat him up!  He makes my heart swell with joy every time I lay eyes on him - even at 4 a.m.  I cannot imagine my life without him.

Silas is getting so very grown up.  He's still sweet-natured and bull-headed.  He's still stingy with the kisses and hugs, but he's actually gotten very generous with the "I love you's" and "I miss you's."  We're working on getting back on a schedule.  He's been spending more time with his dad, and I think it is helping him.  He doesn't get upset when I pick him up from Michael anymore.  I think he's finally realized that his dad is still part of his life.

As far as me: I've lost a lot of weight (60ish pounds).  I'm wearing pants in a size that I haven't seen since before I got pregnant with Silas.  A size I honestly never thought I'd see again.  It feels really good. 

I've met someone.  Someone kind, honest, loyal, respectful.  Someone who constantly makes me laugh.  Someone who treats me well and goes out of his way to keep a smile on my face.  Someone who genuinely cares about me and wants me to succeed.  Someone who can actually see me as a person instead of just looking at me and seeing "baggage" (can you hear all the bitterness in the last word of that sentence? because there is SO. MUCH. THERE.)

I'm sure you have an opinion on that subject.  I've heard everything from "I'm so happy for you" to "it's too soon."  All I can say is: I'm happy, and my kids are happy.  Trying to make the whole world (or even everyone I know) agree with my decisions is futile.  So, I will just continue to live my life being concerned about making the people who live under my roof happy.  Things are simpler that way.

Last year taught me a great deal about who I am and what I want and what is important.  My focus for 2013 is to invest in quality people because 2012 showed me just how many of those people I have in my life.  I thank God for every one of them every day.