Happy (belated) Mother's Day

One of the things I think I appreciate most about my mother is that I can be myself with her.  I never feel like I have to put on a show or hide parts of my personality or things that are going on in my world.  She never makes me feel judged or like she's going to ex-communicate me for being human and having flaws.

That is one thing I hope Silas can say about me when he grows up.  It is my mission in life to let him be himself and accept him for who he is because there is nothing like knowing your mom loves you without limitation.

So, Silas, know that I love you even when you hit me in the face and throw your food on the floor and scream at the top of your lungs for no reason and want everyone to hold you but me and  conspire with your father to make me change all of your diapers.  

I will love you even if I hate your wardrobe and the person you choose to date and all of your friends.  I will love you when I discipline you and when I know you're making a choice you'll regret.  I will love you unconditionally and from the bottom of my heart for your entire life.  You make being a mother so rewarding, and I would not trade anything about our relationship for anything in the world.

My mother is wonderful and my son is amazing, and all the people I spent Mother's day with are so special.  It was a perfect day, and I'm a lucky, lucky woman to have the kind of people I have in my life. 

Hope you all had a perfect day as well!

Temporary insanity

I think I've been taking the temporary nature of my life in stride up to this point.

I'm so pleased to have a place to live that it doesn't really bother me that I have to move again soon, and I'm trying very hard to be thankful for my temporary phone while I daydream about the iPhone 4 I will purchase as soon as I have the money, and I'm also trying to make the best of the fact that I temporarily have five outfits at my disposal.

But yesterday, because some asshole somewhere has nothing better to do than create computer-destroying viruses, I had to move to a temporary office at work, and I nearly had a meltdown (not nearly.  I did have a meltdown, actually).

Work is the one place I can usually count on consistency.  I have a routine, and I have my office with my pictures and my files stacked everywhere, and I have my computer set up with all the programs I need and in such a way that I can find almost anything I need in under 30 seconds.  

My temporary office was technically an upgrade because it has a window, and I don't have a window, but it had nothing else that makes me feel comfortable doing my job.  Also, it was about 3 feet from my nemesis, the very loud, demon-possessed copy machine.

So, it should be understandable that I did the mental equivalent of wearing a hole in the carpet this morning while waiting for my computer to be fixed.  

The computer-fixer-guy (IT guy?  Computer technician?  Computer Machine guru? Computer-fixer-guy.  That's it - that was the mental process used to create that highly technical term) had a crazy busy morning, and my heart sank lower and lower as the hours passed and it began to look like I would be waiting until Monday to move "home" to my office.  

Oh, but there is a happy ending for me because I'm writing this post from my messy office on my virus-free computer that the computer-fixer-guy did make time to fix today.

Thank you, computer-fixer-guy for restoring one thing in my life back to normal.  You just pulled me back from the edge of that nervous breakdown I was about to have.

Write this down

Family of potty mouths + a child who is a parrot = major embarrassment.  

Silas has heard at least four different people say the "s" word, and now he won't quit saying it.  He just comes out with it randomly.  Apparently he's been regaling the babysitter with it all day.

A few weeks ago, he spilled his bowl of goldfish and said, "damn it! damn it! damn it!" as he picked them up to deposit them back in the bowl.

He hasn't dropped an "f" bomb, yet so maybe there's still hope. <---- Is up for debate as of my last text message from the babysitter.  Could have been the word "buck," and we're all choosing to believe it was.

Put on your to do list: "Clean up foul mouth prior to having children", or you may just find yourself turning fifteen shades of red in a Target one day.

Biker Chick

Netflix has afforded me the opportunity to catch up on shows most people have been watching for several seasons.  My current obsession is Sons of Anarchy.

Hot Jax.  Did I mention HOT?

Motorcycles?  Tattoos?  Gemma being all - I'll-smack-you-in-the-face-with-a-skateboard-if-you-mess-with-my-man?  Jax being all tough guy, but melty when he sees his little boy?  Love it. 

Something I bet you did not know about me:  I know how to ride a motorcycle.  My ex and his dad bought me a Honda 125 (or whatever - I don't remember what it actually was) so that my feet could actually touch the ground and taught me how to ride it.  

I mean it's been a few years, and I wouldn't want to challenge anyone to any kind of contest or anything, but if presented with a bike I could hold up, I could totally get it down the street.

Michael has been going on and on about wanting a bike for years, and now I'm kind of on board and kind of want another Honda 125 (or whatever) for myself.

Silas' Nana and Pawpaw are already indoctrinating him into the way of the Harley, so we may as well make it a family thing, right? (So long as no one starts ordering me to get them beers or calling me their "old lady" - we're way too close to a birthday for that).

Anyway, watch the show if you like that sort of thing (and if you don't....weird, but whatever), but don't Google how to properly spell people's names to write about it on your blog because you'll accidentally find out things you aren't supposed to know yet, and you'll be sad that you know them too soon.

My people

So, Silas is rid of the ear infection but now has a head to toe rash and a virus.  There was no fever when he woke up, so I'm hopeful he's past the scary stuff.

My bank account is just totally wiped out.  Worse than usual.  Beyond broke on payday kind of bad.  

BUT this is not a woe-is-me post.  Because my people?  My people are amazing.  

My husband is a hive of activity, helpful suggestions, moral support and hand holding

My mom is a wealth of love, support and mom advice

My father-in-law is putting a temporary roof over my head

My mother-in-law is spending her two days off helping us move

My babysitter/friend, Candice, is taking amazing care of Silas while I work

My friends are keeping me laughing and reminding me I'm loved

My co-workers and bosses are picking up my slack and offering me encouragement

My little boy is giving me a continuous reason to smile.

My people remind me that I have too much good in my life to wallow in self-pity.  My people remind me that I should be celebrating my victories and holding my head up high in thanks for my blessings.

My hope, my wish, my dream is to pay it forward and pay it back.  I hope to be as good to you all as you all are to me.  You're all wonderful, and I thank God for knowing just the right combination of people to bring into my life.

Happy Friday, and I hope all of you who are reading this have an amazing weekend with your people because I suspect God gave you the perfect combination too.

My world this week

Honestly, I don't have time to write this, what with being two days behind at work and all, but this blog is my outlet, and my blood pressure is apparently high, so I need to work my outlet.

My week in summary:

• Very sick, 104 degree temp having son - ear infection - cautiously stating it's finally under control
• Two days of work missed
• iPhone? broken (so, if you're calling and texting and Facebooking me - I don't know your number anymore and can hardly check Facebook - don't take my lack of response personally, please)
• Laptop? broken
• iPhone and Laptop?  Only two places I have approx 3000 photos/videos of my son stored
• Homeless? no longer - although the vast majority of my belongings are still lingering in my soon-to-be-vacant apartment
• Health screening at work?  Obese.  High Cholesterol.  High blood pressure.

Also, I now live with someone who watches the news, so I saw that Alabama, Arkansas (my home) and Tennessee have been devastated by tornadoes and also that several people have been murdered in the DFW Metroplex recently (literally, the entire broadcast was about death and identity theft on the PS Network [did I mention we're on the PS Network?].  There was not one uplifting story about a squirrel water skiing).

Crying.  I've done a lot of crying this week.  Like, on my bosses (multiple) voice mails and to a hateful pediatric nurse and to the lady who had the unfortunate task of being my "health coach" after my biometric screening and to my mom and husband and friends and basically anyone who will listen.

So, I've been feeling sorry for myself, but I know I am blessed to have a place to lay my head tonight and a son who is returning to his healthy self.   I'm ridiculous for mourning the loss of my pictures when others have lost their homes and loved ones.  My heart truly goes out to them.

If you see me crying again, really, just slap me because I'm no longer allowed to be throwing myself a pity party, but I'm (obviously) not particularly disciplined and will probably keep trying anyway.

Hope you are all doing okay out there and that the tornadoes did not get anywhere near any of you.

Good Friday

From the bottom of my heart, I thank Him