Afff-Lac

While I'm trying to be all motivated and conquer the world, my doctor is doing her best to diagnose me with something scary.

This morning, I went for a physical. Just routine business. Until doc started asking a bunch of questions all suspicious like and then said the word "cancer." No one has diagnosed me with cancer. They tried three years ago, but they did a biopsy and came back with "dysplasia" instead. Not cancer. Just pre-cancer. Just keep an eye on it so it doesn't turn into cancer.

So, I know there's some weird stuff floating around in my body that could take on a mind of its own and turn into cancer. I just operate under the assumption that it never will. However, this doctor decided that my symptoms warrant checking to see if it has. I'm not sure why she felt the need to tell me. Especially since I'm all, "everything happens for a reason" and I bought a cancer policy last week on the off chance that my "weird stuff" did turn into cancer. My gut reaction when she said (like she was ordering lunch), "we're just going to do some testing for ovarian cancer and h pylori (which I totally googled and found out that it can cause ulcers and/or......stomach cancer)" was, "Oh God, did I jinx myself via Aflac?"