Save your money, it always ends the same way

Last night, after I put Silas to bed, I put on comfortable clothes, ordered pizza and watched three romantic comedies (chick flicks) in a row. Outcome? True mental anguish.

Who the hell is writing these movies? Someone with a rich fantasy life, indeed. Please let me know if any of you have ever had a slow-motion reuniting with your soul mate in an airport/bus station/train station after a heart-wrenching misunderstanding tore you apart. No? You mean every time you and your "one true love" break up, you don't hop a plane to Belize? Ok, me neither. Just checking. And, while we're discussing it, you mean every time you and your "one true love" break up it isn't because of a misunderstanding that actually shows you both really care deeply for one another? No, sometimes one of you is just an asshole? Right. Same here. And, lastly, you mean every time you and your "one true love" break up your friends aren't getting in cahoots with one another to get you back together? No? Battle lines are drawn, shots are taken, hate is spewed, names are cursed? Yes. That's a more accurate depiction over here too.

It's not only the "happily-ever-after" ending kind of crap. It's also the fact that one (or both) of the characters is always a douche-bag to some degree, but the love of this perfectly-coiffed (who has that many good hair days in a row and never runs out of amazing outfits while also being perfectly on top of a career and social life???) individual always brings out the best in them and erases all signs of their formerly douchey behavior. It. Does. Not. Happen. In. Real. Life. (I slowed you down there so you'd have time to digest that). These movies are the reason that women think they can change men. These movies are the reason women are disappointed when they get earnest (albeit sometimes lame) shows of affection rather than grand gestures of overwhelming magnitude that leave them in a puddle of tears.

And we wonder why our men refuse to watch these movies with us. All the pressure we put on them to plan the perfect date, buy the perfect gift, remember every little detail about us? Chick flicks. We watch chick flicks and then pick our guy (or every guy we've ever dated) apart for not living up to a person who was created in someone's fantasy land (and was probably re-written 1500 times). It's truly damaging to a girl's self-esteem when she watches these things and thinks, What is wrong with me that I cannot convince my normal boyfriend with flaws to become utterly flawless? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. There's probably nothing wrong with your man either. He's probably just a normal guy who does normal guy stuff and gets on your nerves. Please note: they will all get on your nerves to varying degrees. The trick is cutting them slack when they do try and ceasing this search for a real life version of the lead in a romantic comedy.