No one to blame but myself

Some people are not meant to wear shorts.  I am one of those people, and that's cool because I've spent the bulk of my adult life amassing a collection of dresses and skirts.

Last year, my mom bought me several dresses, and I would wash them and hang them up to help them keep their size/shape as they were drying so that all was lovely and well during the scorching Texas summers when just the thought of wearing anything longer than knee-length makes me want to faint on the spot.  

Those dresses were my hands-down favorites, and they had never met a dryer.

Until yesterday.

I so wish I could blame this on Michael or Silas or one of the dogs.  But no.  I did it.  I washed the entire collection of dresses and proceeded to throw them (all of them) into the dryer.  I didn't have an uh oh! moment half way through the drying process or as I pulled them from the dryer or even as I hung them on hangers.  The damage was good and thoroughly done.

I awoke this morning feeling all smug about the fact that I knew exactly what I was going to wear and could skip the rushing-around-panicky-looking-for-clean-clothes portion of the day.  I trotted to my closet, pulled one of the dresses off of its hanger and over my head where it proceeded to stretch and gape and make a dramatic announcement about not fitting me anymore. 

I was astonished.  Um, why do my jeans and shirts still fit if I've gained what must be twenty pounds???

So, still, what I had done did not occur to me.  I found another dress (same size - hung to dry) and went about my morning, dropping Silas off, stopping to get gas, driving to work - all while swearing off cookies - when the realization finally dawned, and I had my uh oh! moment.  I shrunk my favorite dresses...all of them...all by myself. 

Since I was stuck in traffic anyway, I made myself come up with a silver lining.  I found two.

1. I did manage to not shrink every other piece of clothing I own.
2. The cookies weren't the culprit (because I was totally lying to myself about giving them up - especially since Wal-Mart has started stocking Keebler's version of the Samoa - all year round - at much more reasonable prices than my beloved Girl Scouts).