More stuff

 The part where I didn't humiliate myself

In the days leading up to this work event where I had to walk (up to) three miles, I was fairly certain my team would have to call 911 a fourth of the way through.  However, I'm proud to report that I completed the whole challenge and didn't faint or fall out even once.

I know, I was shocked too.

 The baby

I'm finally starting to feel movement from Weebs.  It's pretty sporadic, but it's a fun surprise when it happens.  I'll be curled up in bed drooling over Michael Weston (Burn Notice) when all of a sudden "bump!" a little hello from baby.

Monday is my next sonogram, and I will not leave that doctor's office until someone tells me the gender of this child.  

I'll try to find a fun way to tell you guys, but I'm usually too excited and just post "It's a _____!" on Facebook all lame-like.

Silas

Speaking of baby's gender, Silas is going to try to make me send this baby back if it's not a girl.  He's not on board with having a baby at all, but a little brother is completely out of the question.  He makes sure to tell me that every time someone reminds him that there's a baby in mommy's belly.

Other than demanding I not have another boy (as if I have any control over it), Silas is still awesome.  A new fun thing he's started doing is regurgitating books.  Yesterday, while I was driving home, I heard him spouting the last several pages of the book I'd read him at bedtime the night before.  Kind of blew my mind and made me grin from ear to ear.

Also, he has rocked the transition to the toddler bed.  We have our little routine, and as long as we stick to it (and he's not sick and the power hasn't gone out), he's happy to climb into his big boy bed and stay put till morning.  I'm considering it my reward for the fact that he's still not potty trained.  (But he's finally getting interested, so maybe I won't be changing two butts come November...?  Please, God.  I beg of You!)

Friends

After I put Silas to bed last night, I threw myself a little tantrum.  I was exhausted and lonely and scared and really, really pissed off. 

Desperate to be comforted, I reached out to a friend who has been in and out of my life for many, many years.  The response was three short sentences that reminded me this person believes in me and has my back.  It gave me all the encouragement I needed to get through a bad night and feel like I could keep going.

The list of people who I can honestly say are that caliber of friend is very short.  They are the friends who don't quit on me no matter what our friendship endures.  They don't judge me - not even behind closed doors or quietly to themselves.  They love me despite my flaws and my baggage.

They are my courage and strength on those days when I cannot be strong for one more minute.  They are the place I can always go to let down my guard and be vulnerable and know that I'm safe in doing so.

If you're reading this, you know who you are.  One day I hope I can find a way to show you just how much you mean to me and how grateful I am that you've never given up on me.