"Shotgun shuts his cakehole"

Judgeyness is my least favorite quality in people.  Rejoining the ranks of Facebook (and having a joint account with someone who posts all the things) has opened me back up to snarky and judgmental comments (cleverly camouflaged as jokes with an "lol" thrown on the end - I'm on to you) from that lovely social media gem.

Here's the thing: yes, I basically live in a zoo.  Yes, five people and four dogs is quite a lot.  Do I always love dressing four people in the morning or waking up at 5 to let out dogs?  Nope.  Sure don't.  Do I sometimes want to scream because I'm continuously tripping over the three kids and four dogs who are incessantly under my feet?  Yep, sure do.  Do people's comments about how many kids and dogs I have make me wish I could send some of them back?  Um, no.  

"OMG!  That's so many dogs!"  Well, hell, we hadn't considered your opinion when we made the decision to get two new dogs.  Perhaps because it does not affect you in the least or cause you any extra effort or stress.  This is something we've been discussing for well over a year.  It was not a snap decision.  I cannot tell you how many times I had puppy eyes mooning up at me and said, "no.  Not now.  It's not the right time."  

The older dogs are loyal and amazingly patient and protective of the kids.  But they are getting quite old.  They like to sleep and eat and sleep and sleep.  They'll patiently endure Vivian "petting" them, but they really don't much care for romping around the yard with two small boys.  They prefer to lie in the shade in the grass and....you guessed it....sleep.  

Ok, so, why pit bulls?  Because we looked at a lot of large dog breeds, and the pit bull was the breed we came back to over and over again.  They are good with kids, extremely loyal, and look scary as hell (but are big ol' teddy bears).  

Why two?  We got the first one, Judson, when I saw him and said, "yep, that's our dog."  My gut just said he was the right one, and I listen to my gut.  We had him about a week and he had so much playful energy, and the kids go to bed at 8, and the older dogs (as I mentioned) didn't want to romp around and help him run off the energy.  So, after the kids went to bed, Jimmy and I did our best to keep him occupied, but we didn't really feel like we were hitting the mark.  Well, then, the lady who gave us Judson posted a doll house on the same site.  Vivian had to have it.  So, I dispatched Jimmy to retrieve the doll house, and the idea that perhaps Judson should be raised with a sibling was born.  So, now, we also have Jasper - who is just OMG the sweetest dog you have ever met.  The dogs personalities kind of mimic both my sons.  Jimmy and I have talked about it multiple times.  I'm telling you, these dogs were sent down from Heaven just for our family.

Our dogs  play with my kids and make us laugh and are always good for snuggles and are happy to protect us.  I love my dogs.  I love all four of them and wouldn't trade them for the world.  I'm feeding them and bathing them (although admittedly probably not often enough) and (lord help me) clipping their nails and making vet appointments and enrolling them in obedience school (lest you think I'm going to have untrained Pit bulls roaming my home) and potty training and applying flea and tick treatments.  I'm doing what you're supposed to do when you have animals.  Yes, even with three kids and a ridiculous commute and a full time job.

"You've got your hands full there!"  Yep, random guy at the grocery store or preschool drop off or anywhere in public really.  I made lots of children, and I dress them and feed them and work so they have a roof over their heads.  I pray for them and talk to them and push them on swings and work with the 400 people who are in their lives to make sure that we are all a united village raising them to be the best little people they can be.  And while I believe that public assistance is quite necessary and applaud people who use it the way it's intended to be used, I'm blessed enough not to need it.  So, my kids aren't costing you a dime.  So, BACK. OFF.

"Wow, I can't believe you're going to take on school with all you have on your plate!"  Maybe this one is just me being too sensitive.  Maybe people mean something not judgey and snarky when they say this.  But let me tell you how my brain translates it:  "you're spreading yourself too thin and are going to be a less effective employee/wife/mother because you're doing too much."  So, if that is what you mean, kiss my ass.  No, really, I don't feel like mincing words and being polite today.  (I told y'all nothing good comes of Facebook).  So, kiss my ass.

I'm excited to start this new chapter.  Will I have less free time and get less sleep?  Yes.  But it's a temporary sacrifice for the betterment of my family.  I have been thinking about going back to school for years, and nothing ever came together properly.  Now things have come together exactly as I needed them to come together.  I'm grateful for this opportunity and have full confidence that I can juggle this one extra bowling pin thrown into my circus act and do so without harming all of the people in my life who are most important.

So, as I've seen on Pinterest many times: "Driver picks the music; shotgun shuts his cakehole."  I'm the driver in my life, and I'm going to (white girl) dance to the dance mix of my choice.  Others are free to observe quietly or GO. AWAY.