No turning back

I just quit my job.

Not threw-things-and-stormed-out-in-a-huff quit.  Just quietly warned my direct supervisor and then handed in my letter of resignation.

It's exciting.  And scary.  Mostly, um, well, both.

That firm has been an enormous part of my adult life.  I have worked there for coming up on eight years.  It was my place of solace during my divorce and after giving birth to every one of my kids and going half crazy for various reasons each time (I started 2 months after Anabel was born).  

So many people have become true friends.  One of my attorneys literally officiated my wedding.  So, there are absolutely things I will miss.

And then there are things I won't miss.  At all.

Like accounting for every second of every day in six minute increments.  Good riddance, billing!

And like the commute.  I'd say that is 78% of the reason I finally just pulled the trigger and took this leap of faith.  It has become unfathomable to me why I spend so much of my life in my car.  Time I could be devoting to any other part of my life.  Like my kids or my studies or my husband or my house.  Hell even to Netflix and junk food binges.

It finally became impossible to talk myself into believing it was a reasonable choice to make every day.

And I have prayed and talked to Jimmy and a couple of close friends endlessly about what to do.  And yesterday when I was half out of my mind pleading with my two year old son to put on his boots while he lay screaming in the middle of the kitchen floor because I was so stressed about making it to a meeting in my office that is halfway across the earth on time, I just realized, "Enough.  It is insane to keep putting myself and my family through something that just is not working."

Right, so, now I'm totally just going to sit around and drink margaritas all day in the sunshine.  The end.

Except not really.

Actually, I have been offered a new position doing something completely different.  (It was offered a couple of months ago, but I've been very busy freaking out over what ifs and talking everyone's head off.) 

I'm going to wrap things up for the people who depend on me at the firm, take a couple of weeks to help my kids transition into daycare (+Netlix+junk food+novels) and then plunge into this new endeavor.

It's scary.  And maybe I just made the biggest mistake of my life and I'm going to fall flat on my face and wind up homeless.  

But maybe I'll do well and it will be exactly what my family and I needed to make life a little more about quality time and a lot less about staring at tail lights and getting home after dark.

I hope and pray it's option two.  

Like I said in my last blog, every thing is changing right now.  It's incredibly scary, and I ask (once more) that you say a little prayer for us and we start this new journey (and maybe clear out your spare room...just in case.)