Day One-Half: Fail.

I thought I'd update you on my half-day's worth of progress in my quest to get healthier and lose weight.

For dinner, I had a BBQ sandwich and some mac and cheese.  Then, at about 11:00, I had a quarter of a pint of Butterfinger ice cream.  I washed both things down with regular Coke.

For exercise, I chased Silas around for a few hours and then I laid in bed and watched about 10 episodes of season 1 of Weeds.

However, I did consciously put one less creamer in my coffee this morning.  So, that's, what, 20 less calories?  Also, I did not go down and get any free breakfast in my building's lobby this morning (mostly because there was some guy down there playing violin that weirded me out), so I'm also minus a blueberry muffin's worth of calories on the day.  Progress.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain.  Yes, Mark Twain, yes.  I'm really trying to get on board.  Really.

Goodbye Fat Ass?

Well, I opened my mouth and said something, and now I'm practically in a "let's get Michelle thin again!" support group.

Michael has never said a word to me about my weight.  He's told me I'm beautiful practically every day since he met me (when I was a size 4) to today (when I'm a size 14).  I've been bigger than I am now, and he's never complained or made snarky comments or bought me a thigh master.  So, kudos to him.

However, today, I cried and said that I feel bad about myself (he is the only one who ever hears the truth about these things.  Everyone else just gets to hear self-deprecating jokes), and he said, "well, let's fix this" and has gone all support group director on me.  I don't feel like he's secretly been wanting me to get skinny for 2 years and saw this as his golden opportunity because I honestly don't think he cares what I weigh.  I have friends whose husbands care, and Michael just is not one of those men.  I truly believe that he thinks I'm at my breaking point with being overweight, and he knows it's time to help me fix it.

I'm not putting a lot of pressure on myself because I've been up and down the scale so many times, but I guess if I'm crying about my weight, it's time to put down the donuts and get off the freaking couch and at least try to get some of it off.

Cheers (with water) to getting healthier and losing some of this weight.

Stopping to think about what I believe

I was going to upload a picture of my tree, but the scene is much less adorable and much more unopened mail stacked on the counter top in the background....so we'll pretend I have a fireplace and adorable animals snuggled in front of it instead.

My mom forwarded me an email this morning that was a take on 'Twas the Night Before Christmas only it addressed the commercialism of Christmas and the use of "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."

I have to admit, I kind of felt a pang of "EEEK! Am I doing this?!"  

I do not have a nativity, and so far I have only read my son "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" and "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."  They are both cute stories, and the Grinch addresses the fact that Christmas is not about toys and food but about love and family and togetherness, and it is.  However, for Christians, it's about much, much more, and I want to find a way to share that part of my faith with my son.

So, it is my mission to make sure my son does not get wrapped up in the commercialism of Christmas but instead gets a sense of the beautiful story of the birth of the Child who later takes His place as the Savior in Christianity.  For me, because of what my parents taught me about Christmas, Jesus is the reason for this holiday, and I don't want to fail to pass that message along to my family.

Being a parent is about so much more than taking care of the day-to-day needs of our children.  It is also about teaching them the values and truths that we hold dear, whatever those may be.

I have no idea what everyone who reads this blog believes.  However, I'm sure that whatever your beliefs, you hold them dear to your heart.  Hopefully, while you are preparing for the holiday season, you stop to think about what this time really means to you and share that with your children so that their generation knows that this time of year is about more than iPods and Elmos and (insert your child's favorite toy here). 

Give Thanks!

Last year, I copied my friend's idea for a post and made a list of things for which I am thankful besides the usual (family, friends, home, etc.).  The 2010 version is below for your reading pleasure.  I am thankful for:

1. The fact that there will apparently only be fifteen cold days in Dallas this year.  I'm not sure how I manage to be both fat and cold-natured, but I do manage it.  I was meant to live in the tropics.

2. Books and people who loan me books or tell me about good books or buy me books as gifts

3. The QT (Quik-Trip) across the street from where I live.  How can you not love a store that makes 32 oz. sodas $.50 in the summer?

4.Gas cans...

5. Video game consoles that trick me into exercising

6. The way Silas laughs sleepily when I put him in bed and hand him his sippy and giraffe

7. Those rare days when everything lines up and: I want Chick-fil-a, have the money to get it and it's not a Sunday. 

8. That Clinique counter girl who told me purple eyeshadow would look good on me about a million years ago. 

9. The Daily Show...I'm so uptight that I love people who don't take everything so seriously.  

10. Cell phone cameras 

11. My mom and aunt taking me on as their personal fashion project and helping me remember how to dress...I now have a closet full of work-appropriate clothing...that fits.

12. Having a job with insurance, vacation days and sick days.  Seriously.  I know I'm lucky.

13. People who know how to fix computers, cars, washing machines, etc. and like me enough to keep me from destroying those things in frustration when they're in need of repair.

14. When I get an email to my personal inbox that is not spam or advertising

15. Jason Garrett being undefeated as the Cowboy's head coach...Go Cowboys!!!!  Beat those Saints!!!!

16. When I can contributed to a conversation about what is happening in the news

17. When Silas is going through a "mommy" phase.  No one will ever accuse him of being a momma's boy, that's for sure.

18. Games on my phone when I have a long wait.  I don't need your three year old copy of People magazine, thank you very much.

19. Learning how to do something new and the people who take the time to teach me

20. Holidays that give me a day off work and an excuse to get together with my fabulous family 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Grown up fail

Want to know where I am right now? Sitting in my car...waiting for gas to be delivered.

Thank the Lord I live in an urban environment and have a cell phone. Because I would be crying hysterically if I lived in the country and had to seek out a gas station and pay phone right now. I've watched enough horror films to know that that would mean certain death.

That's right, I'm 28 years old, and I just ran out of gas.

I think we can safely say this is not step three in becoming a grown up.

Step two in becomming a grown up

Friday, my mini was sick, and although I have the world's best babysitter, I stayed home with him and showered him with love and attention and called doctors and (much to his dismay) took his temperature every thirty minutes.  He tricked me over and over again all weekend by acting like he was feeling better and then spiking a fever and being bratty and/or pitiful until his medicine would kick in.  He seems to have finally conquered it today and is (happily) terrorizing the babysitter and her family once more.

Aside from nursing the mini, I also spent my weekend developing my five year plan for buying a house.  It requires the sacrifice of downgrading from my shoe box to a matchbox.  

The matchbox has a single closet in the entire space, no dishwasher and no dryer connection (although there is a washer connection  - WTLF?).  I can envision you sitting there wondering what the upsides are.  Well, I'll tell you.  My (although it isn't mine yet) matchbox has been carved into two (teeny, tiny) bedrooms, has a yard (where I will install a storage shed for all of my shoes), and is three doors down from my mom.  It will cost me a fraction of what I would be paying to upgrade to a larger apartment and will allow me to comfortably sock away enough money to put down a sizable down payment on a house in five years.

So, we will be sacrificing in the short term in order to benefit in the long term.  I have just completed step two in becoming a grown up, and it's only been thirteen months since completing step one. (See here for step one).  Step three...?

Writer's Block

Write.  Delete.  Write.  Delete.  Write.  Delete.  That has been me trying to write a post today.

I'm mad at someone.  The truth is I've been mad for months.   I am confrontational 999/1000th of the time.  Almost to the point of ridiculousness.  However, 1/1000th of the time, I am so overwhelmed by the potential repercussions of  a conflict that I avoid the situation until I'm so angry that I unhinge and do irreparable damage to the relationship.

So, I've been writing self-righteous, passive-aggressive posts addressing my anger and hurt feelings and then deleting them.  

Nothing has been resolved with this exercise, and I do not have the energy or mental capacity to write about anything more entertaining.

Maybe my kid will do something funny soon or someone will do something heinous in public, and this will be more interesting reading.  Until then, cross your fingers that I find a way to speak my mind in a non-public forum.

P.S. Google has told on you by showing me my stats, and I know there are more than 4 people reading this blog.  So, although you refuse to follow me, I sincerely appreciate you reading!