Adventures in trying to be more age appropriate with music

You thought I forgot you?  I could never.

In an effort to steer my kid away from a burgeoning obsession with Beyonce, I downloaded a toddler CD onto my iPod ($3.99 for 30 songs!!).  Very pleased with myself, I turned it on for Silas during Friday's commute home and have played it every time we have gotten in the car since.

Yesterday, I was trying to get my life together after we got back in the car at Target (keys, sunglasses, seat belt, etc).  All the while, he was in the backseat hollering "music! music!"

Silly me, I turned on the radio to try to buy some time and quell the incessant bleating while I dug out my phone and hooked it to all the cords and pushed all the buttons to call forth "Wheels on the Bus" because, as I previously mentioned, three days prior, Silas and I had had very similar taste in music.

His reaction to the momentary reversion to pop music brought me thisclose to deleting the toddler CD altogether. 

It became quite clear that there will be no more carefree days of crappy music in my Jeep with Silas in the backseat.  He will apparently be screaming over anything but nursery rhymes going forward.

So, basically, I've destroyed the one thing Silas and I were previously able to agree on and accidentally banned the radio from my car until he outgrows "Baa baa black sheep" or Michael breaks my phone again (I'm so not backing that CD up to iTunes).

Well, I'm a grown up. Fat lot of good it's doing me.

If ever I had any doubt in my mind that I'm a grown up, it's gone.  There are no more steps to complete.

I'm not sure what to really say except that my father is really ill, and my grandmother has aged to a point where she cannot take care of him.  So, now it falls to me.  

I live five hours away with a husband and a child and a job.  

When I got a call telling me things were bad and called and spoke to my grandmother to confirm, I made plans to take a trip home.  I didn't have the money, and it was not a good time to take off work, but there was nothing else to be done, and I couldn't leave my grandmother to suffer alone.  So, I went.

And lived 24 hours in what felt like a horror film.  My father has a mental illness.  He was off his meds.  The power went out and never came back on.  It was 90 degrees inside the house.  I didn't sleep for 40 hours straight.  Insanity ensued.  It was a helpless, lonely feeling, and I'm not sure what I accomplished except that I got my grandmother to a place where she wasn't going to be alone when I left and then hauled ass home to try to figure the rest out.

I know for sure that I will do everything in my power to have another kid.  I never want to take the chance of Silas winding up an only child or the only child left to take care of an aging parent.  I dreamed last night that I had a little girl, and I woke up feeling more at peace.   Bizarre how I once worried that he'd lose something if I had another baby.  I'd give my right arm for a sibling to bounce all this off of right now.

Keep my family in your prayers if you would.  I feel like I'm in an impossible situation and have no idea what to do.  I need all the help I can get.

P.S. Sorry this was all sad.  I'll try to do better next post.

Silas' Music Video Debut

Some of my favorite recent pictures...and Silas' music video debut.

My two nerds play x-box together

Si Hearts Bubble Baths

Si found some Valentine's Day stickers and decorated my arm (and totally made my day for sharing stickers with me - it's a big deal!)

Wal-Mart hates my dogs

'scuse me?  Wal-Mart?  WTF?

I move a lot, y'all.  To have not hailed from nomadic people, I sure do like to play make-believe that I did.

One lesson I learn quite often is that whoever is running Wal-Mart is trying to piss me off.

Last night?  Last night I boiled spaghetti noodles, baked garlic bread, and only then remembered that the hamburger meat for the sauce.........still in the freezer.......mmm hmm, still frozen.

That should demonstrate to you how very taxed my brain is.  There just is not enough brain power left to figure out where the hell they've hidden the dog food in this version of Wal-Mart.

Why?  Why is every store different?  Not just a little bit different.  Some times you people completely flip the layout.  In Garland, grocery is on the left.  So, I walked into the left side of the Wal-Mart in Wylie expecting to see tomatoes and was instead greeted by bikinis.  That's right, grocery is on the right in Wylie.  (i.e. You parked on the wrong side, hooker.)

Did I mention that the Wal-Mart in Garland did a complete remodel in the last year, and I was just beginning to be able to walk in and remember that the chips were in a really stupid place, but I could find them?  I have no clue where the chips are in Wylie.  

So, Wal-Mart, explain it to me.  Explain to me why you can't pick one layout and implement it all over the country.  Tell me why dog food can't be on aisle 26 in every Wal-Mart in the nation.  Tell me why I have to feel like a rat in a maze every time I go to another one of your stores.  

Lastly, tell me why when I finally figure out the layout of the Wal-Mart down the street from my new residence, you do a complete remodel and move the dog food again.   

Why do you hate my dogs?

I need to get out more

Nothing happened this weekend. No.thing. Almost died of boredom.

Friday night, I went to Target and bought boxed wine (white sangria - soooooo good) and sprite and raspberries so I could make the hubbs and myself "fancy" drinks in plastic cups. 

The cashier carded me with waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more attitude than was necessary considering my age.  Then she saw my ID and apologized to me.  I wasn't sure whether to feel vindicated or insulted.

Michael was in charge of finding the evening's entertainment since I had to drive the 3 miles to Target and back.  

He picked a documentary about a juice fast.  

I swear on everything, he was watching a documentary about people going on a juice fast and losing, like, 200 pounds in 60 days.

So, I drank my fancy drink out of my plastic cup and watched this documentary and cried in all the right places and decided that I, too, wanted to go on a juice fast.

Then I woke up Saturday and went to the grocery store....

and bought cookie mix and brownie mix and everything I could find with trans fats and carbohydrates.

After I got home, Micheal and his dad hauled themselves to the casino in honor of Michael's upcoming birthday and left Silas and me to our own devices.  

We made cookies and played Chuck Trucks and colored and went outside and inside and outside and inside and watched Word World and took bubble baths and walked around like crabs and fed Silas 429,000 times until he finally went to bed.

Then I splayed out on the couch and watched back to back to back episodes of Nip/Tuck on Netflix until my eyes bled and I had nearly convinced myself I was qualified to give someone breast implants.  I could not find a willing guinea pig to test my theory.

Sunday I did more grocery shopping.  Thought again about going on a juice fast and remembered that I have no will power.  So, I bought pasta instead.

Came home to Michael watching The Tudors and Mars Attacks and briefly thought about canceling Netflix.

Instead, I pouted for a while and then wrestled the remote from him, pulled out a legal pad, and started taking notes for that patient who's going to want a boob job and a tummy tuck.

I don't want to give him a complex or anything

I know I rag on my kid all the time for being such a handful, and I worry that Silas might stumble across this blog one day and think, "now I need therapy."  So, here are some of the reasons he's awesome (yeah, J-Dub, just close the window out now, it's a Silas post):

• If I say "ouch!" or am crying, Silas says, "are okay, momma?" in his sweet, concerned toddler voice and puts a hand on my face to comfort me, and I melt inside and want to scoop him up and give him a thousand kisses - but I have to restrain myself or it ruins the moment because he's not big on PDA (public or private displays of affection) and he'll push me off of him and tell me to "go 'way" and I'll start crying all over again, but he won't care this time because I've annoyed him.

• He sings and dances incessantly.  In the car, at home, at the grocery store.  He doesn't care.  If music starts playing, he "fancy dances" (I'm not sure why I call it that, but I do, and I like it, so it stays).  If there isn't music, no problem, he'll just serenade you.  It's possible that others might find it annoying, but I will turn the radio off just to listen to it because I think it's hilarious when he sings a song and leaves out every other word and then claps for himself and says "yay!" when he's done.

• This may sound dumb, but Silas "gets" me.  He gets my sense of humor.  Other kids (and adults on occasion) don't always get that sometimes when I look and sound serious, I'm actually just messing with them.  There's nothing worse than trying to joke with a kid and ending up making them cry (or trying to be serious and causing fits of giggles).  Thankfully, Silas always knows whether it's time to laugh or run and hide.  

• He can imitate my why-are-you-talking-crazy-to-me? face (hereinafter "the face") perfectly.  When I am messing with him, I get "the face" - although I also get it when we're in an argument about whether or not it's time to go to bed or eat our dinner.  It's less cute then.

When he's not whining for an hour straight about dumb crap and making me worry that my face is going to freeze into "the face" permanently, he's really funny and smart and sweet.

Or maybe I just think he is because he's so much like me.

Oooooooooooooh, you're right, that's probably also why he whines about dumb crap so much.

Thanks for pointing that out

You know a while back when everyone was changing their Facebook profile picture to be their doppelganger?

I couldn't participate because I could not think of any celebrity or semi-celebrity or vaguely familiar person who looks like me.

Well, problem completely and totally solved because I had the following conversation the other day.

Friend: You know who you look like?

Me: Who?  Wait, this better be a compliment.

Friend: It is!

Me: Ok, who?

Friend: You remember that cartoon "Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers"?  

Me: Oh, yeah.  What's that have to do with anything?

Friend: You look like the girl.

Awesome.