How to avoid a broken windshield

Yesterday morning I was reminded of something that rivals my hatred for Dallas' traffic: people who take up two parking spaces.

If you've had a long day, or you're dragging around a kid, or you're on crutches, or you're huge and pregnant (all experiences I've had), and you see a parking space near an entrance, it changes your whole demeanor. The clouds part and the sun starts shining and the birds start singing.......and then you see it. Some asshole (usually in luxury car, but sometimes in a ghetto-mobile with candy paint and spinnin' rims) has parked over the line making it impossible for you to squeeze your little Kia Spectra (God forbid you drive a Tahoe) into the magical space.

Now, I am fully aware that these people who have spent an exorbitant amount of money on their vehicles (or their candy paint and spinnin' rims) are trying to protect their investments. However, I must explain to them that all they make me want to do by parking their car in two spaces is key said car. I have to have a serious chat with myself about the legal ramifications of vandalizing someone else's property before I exit my own vehicle in order to avoid smashing one of their taillights.

Some are skeptical, but I assure you that there are people in the world who are crazier than me. Therefore, I feel it is my duty to warn those who find it necessary to park like they own the lot that it is altogether possible that those people who are crazier than me may brandish baseball bats and may not have chats with themselves before exiting their vehicles and may decide that the next Lexus they see taking up two prime spaces (especially since the Christmas shopping season is fast approaching) is in for shattered glass.

The rest of us will continue to mutter under our breath and curse your name and pray some random act of karma befall you. Either way, I believe it is in your best interest to stop being an asshole.