State of the preggo

I stopped showing up to blog because all I can think about is that I might have a baby in ___ days (today it's 2). I'm sure you're bored with it because I am, but I may be in the hospital for a few days, so I thought I'd drop by and ramble on about the state of the preggo for a while to tide you over.

This morning I dropped a bag full of make-up brushes, eyeliner and mascara on my bathroom floor. I had to take a long, hard look at myself with one eye lined and no mascara to decide whether it was really worth bending over for. A similar situation happened with a pen cap last week, and it's still under the chair where it fell.

Sunday, I had to walk across the room to get some antacids at my friend Brooke's house. Apparently, on my way back to my seat, I didn't even bend my knees, I just kind of rocked back and forth from leg to leg like a paper doll. I didn't even realize I was doing it, but she found it hilarious. She is five months pregnant, so I'm not too concerned because I will be getting my seven chuckles in at her expense soon enough (please see Katt Williams if you do not understand the reference).

I've also started playing a game where I can turn anything into a sign that I will have the baby Friday (instead of next Thursday). One of my signs has to do with a game of Madden my husband played. See, I really did mean anything.

If the next post you see from me isn't me gushing over how perfect and adorable my son is, you may want to skip it because it will probably be some epic tale of woe about how I have to wait a few more days to have him. I'll likely continue to bitch about being fat and uncomfortable. You've been warned.