Will Whine for a Hobby

So, don't tell the WOS this (that's my new acronym for the jack-ass-formerly-known-as-my-husband) because I don't need him thinking I can't entertain myself, but I'm bored. (No, there's no fear of him reading it on here as that would require him taking an interest in another human being [no, wait, damn, he did. Just not the one he married], but I digress.)

Anyway, my friend, Latita, is fond of saying "only boring people get bored," but Latita does not have a child who goes to bed at eight o'clock confining her to the house. Therefore, her rules do not apply. (She also carries a bible with her everywhere she goes and has been known to offer it and the phrase, "Jesus already paid all my debts" upon being presented with a check. Funny girl, that Latita. Perhaps there would be no need for this blog entry if she were here. Again, I digress.)

Okay, so, I have a baby, and I am tired of reading, and I have watched everything on my DVR, and I can't bored-eat because it's inappropriate to be cuckolded (there's that word again...at least I didn't find out on Maury) and respond by getting fat(ter...but in my head, I'm a swimsuit model).

The point I'm trying to make is, I need a hobby suited to lazy people who are confined to their homes and who spend all their money raising their kid alone.

Your suggestions are welcome.