Posting the unposted

I write a lot of drafts and don't share them.  Mostly, it's the even bitchier side of me (you didn't know?) having "Dear Diary" moments.  So, if anyone can figure out my password when I die, they'll have some half-finished ramblings (and some totally finished ones) for some light beach reading.

I thought I'd pull some of my favorite lines from my unpublished posts and put them here:

1. Today I am a camel and receipt of the "bitchy email of the day" officially broke my effing back
2. Never you mind about what I'm on. Just enjoy the mild euphoria until I turn back into one of those emo kids on South Park.
3. So, overall, I've made the right choices even if they seem stupid separately (and sometimes collectively).  
4. Michael is totally threatening to wax one of my eyebrows off because he saw it on Tosh.0 and has decided it would be hilarious.
5. I recall thinking I would not survive on three separate occasions between 2 a.m. Saturday morning and 11:30 p.m. Saturday night (just because you arrive home from the sleepover by noon the next day does not mean you have survived it - take my word for it). 
6. Sometimes I steal french fries from Silas.  And chicken nuggets.  What? It's not like he's ever in the history of ever cleaned his plate.
7. People who travel to other countries and come back and tell me how typically-American I am until their "European-ness" (or whatever) wears off annoy the $hit out of me.  
8. Plus, my son loves to dance, and there happened to be a Dance, Dance Revolution game that I happened to walk by 100 times until it caught his eye, and he climbed up, and I took pictures of him.
9. How terrible a human being am I that I'm a little glad Silas had a rough couple of weeks because we now hear a lot of "mommy!  mommy!" around our house?  
10. Whatevs.  I don't feel like being slapped today, so I'm leaving the pity party.  You're welcome to stay if you've got crap going on and want to wallow in it for a while, but we don't have money for beer or tequila, so it's a pretty lame party.