Gavin's big day

I'm medicated and tired, but I wanted to tell the story of Gavin's arrival while I still have a chance (i.e. before I go home and start wrangling them both). This is not going to be the most eloquent thing I have ever written...

Friday was the big day.

We arrived at the hospital 45 minutes early, which was nice considering I had dreamed I was an hour and a half late and was put in the waiting room in hopes that they could squeeze me in.

Once they took me back to get me prepped, things moved quickly. My nurses were funny and kept me distracted from my nerves.

When the anesthesiologist arrived to insert my epidural, my mom started talking to me about beaches and margaritas and hot guys on surf boards. The anesthesiologist talked me through the entire process. He was amazing, and suddenly the only thing I dreaded about the entire day was over! I had made it! I hadn't jumped!

A few minutes later, they wheeled me into the OR to get me prepped. They told my mom they would be back for her in about 15 minutes.

We got to the operating room, and they hoisted me (yes, like a whale) onto the operating table. The anesthesiologist's assistant (so hot! it's like Grey's Anatomy in this hospital) started talking me through what was happening.

They put the medicine in my epidural and suddenly, my ears started ringing, and it sounded a bit like the ocean in my head.

When I finally found the strength to speak, I asked Mr. Hottie, "am I supposed to feel this weird?" (Because I SO didn't when I had Silas...)

He asked how I felt, and I did my best to fight through the circus in my head to describe it.

"Okay, Michelle, we've hit a blood vessel. We're going to have to remove your epidural and insert a new one."

Panic spread through me, and I wanted my momma!

The anesthesiologist talked me through it again, and he even told me I have a "beautiful spine" (spread the word!)

Once that debacle was over, and I felt like nothing else was going to derail my perfect day, they gave me an oxygen mask and pushed something into my IV that nearly caused me to vomit in my own face. Mr. Hottie got the oxygen mask off and a tray under me in time for me to vomit a little more respectably.

A few minutes later, I felt normal again, and my mom was brought in.

It was show time!

My doctor informed me that I am a beautiful healer (and then took it back after he found a bunch of scar tissue internally). Even with all the work they had to do, it was not very long before I heard the most beautiful (loud and angry) sound in the world. My perfect son screaming his head off as they brought him into the world.

Tears streamed down my face before I ever laid eyes on him. It is one of my favorite moments as a mother. The moment they breathe, and you learn how they sound.

My mom watched as they cleaned him and weighed him (7 lbs, 15 ozs) and measured him (21 inches). He screamed incessantly until he heard her voice. He recognized it and began to search for her. He began to calm down. It was another beautiful moment.

Once we were ready to go to recovery, they handed him to me, and I got to hold him and kiss him and nurse him while we were there. It was perfect. They did not give me that opportunity with Silas because he needed to go immediately to the nursery. So, this was an incredible bonding experience for me that I had never before been afforded.

This weekend has been full of people who love us dropping by to ooh and aah.

Silas has met Gavin and has not shown any signs of jealousy. He even offered Gavin the pacifier I swore I would not let him have (but let's face it, you'll break your own rules in the name of sleep.)

Gavin is loud and already very headstrong. He is not what I expected, but he is perfectly himself.

This time has been easier. The bone-weary exhaustion I remember setting in the first day with Silas is more of a manageable tired. The fear and anxiety is not there. This has mostly been a weekend of hanging out and getting to know my new son.

Today we head home to start working together as a family.

I cannot wait!

God has blessed me beyond measure with two incredibly perfect children.

I truly feel like our family is whole now. Like life makes no sense without all three of us.

Thank you all for your prayers, well-wishes, kind words, gifts and visits. We love you very much!