First day of school blues

Remember how I was all "let me have my moment over this perfect preschool situation because I know meltdowns are coming"?  Uh huh, yeah.

Firstly, no one was mentally prepared for Silas to start preschool yesterday.  I had to get him a physical in the morning and then drop the enrollment paperwork off right after, which was at around 11 am.  So, I assumed he'd just start today.

Very sweetly, the lady from the front office offered to show Silas his classroom and introduce him to his teacher.  Silas' teacher happened to be outside with his new class on a seriously amazing playground when we got there.

*Cue Silas begging to stay at school*

The teacher and staff agreed that it was perfectly fine for Silas to stay.  

After warning Silas over and over again that I was going to work and would not be back until the end of the day and asking 100 times if he was sure he wanted to stay, I went ahead and let him stay.

All day, my brain drifted to Silas and hoped he was having a great first day.  By the time I made it to the parking lot to pick him up, I had myself convinced he had breezed through it.

And then I walked into the gym and saw him sitting on the floor....crying.

SO MUCH MOM GUILT!

On the way home, I asked question after question after question trying to get to the bottom of what was wrong and why he "didn't want to go back to school!" (because he kept repeating between sobs, "I don't want to go back to school, mom!")

Eventually, he gave me enough puzzle pieces to realize that my working in Dallas and his going to school in the far away suburbs = him having to stay at school waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too late for his liking.  More mom guilt.

This morning, I tried to pump him up about the day and remind him about everything he told me he liked about school.  Mostly, that elicited sobbing and begging not to go back to school.  The more I tried to fix it, the worse it got.

In desperation, I called Michael.  "Please talk to him and reassure him it will be okay!"  So, Michael talked to Silas and then grilled me about what was wrong.  After explaining it all to him, he said simply, "tell him I'll be there to pick him up after school today." (He works closer and can get to Silas about an hour and fifteen minutes before I can.)

Silas' teacher hugged him as soon as he walked in the door and promised they were heading outside to the playground in "2 minutes".  She sent him off to join his group, and I started to leave.  He had a change of heart midway over to his classmates and ran to me clinging to my leg.  More tears. (More mom guilt).  

I gave him another kiss goodbye, and reassured him his dad would be there to get him.  His teacher materialized to guide him over to the rest of the class, and I went outside and cried.

A 2:30 call to the school gave me a report of him doing really well.

Michael has received no less than 400 "reminders" to go get him.

All that is left for me to do is wait and stare at the clock and will it to move.  And pray.  Again.  "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, God, let Silas have had a much better second day."

Stay tuned...