He's freaking turning 4

Silas is supposed to get his iPad for 30 minutes before bed.  That is the rule.  Except I suck at enforcing the rule.  

When you spend your day like this: wake up, curse alarm clock, shower, makeup, find clothes, put on, wake children, feed children, fight children into clothing, drop off first child, feel guilt when he cries, drop off second child, fight traffic, woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooork, fight traffic, pick up children, driiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive home, make dinner, feed children, bathe children, put children to bed....you basically flip off your mommy switch when the house goes quiet (until one of them wakes up and needs something, then you turn on the dimmer switch to low, deal with it and flip it back off as quickly as possible).  

So, most of the time, I only remember to take his iPad away when he makes the mistake of laughing out loud and reminding me he has it or when I head down the hall to my own bed and see the light still shining.  Yes, I'm aware this makes me a terrible parent.  I try to balance it out in other ways.

Well, last night, I fell asleep and forgot about it completely.  Yes, even worse parenting.  I know.  I know.  I'll make him eat something organic as penance.  

This morning, he was a real peach, let me tell you.  Despite the fact that he has been dressing himself for at least a year, he had somehow lost all ability to remove a shirt or put on a pair of shorts.  He just whined, "you do it mommy!"  (And I did because despite how much I try to deny it, I spoil my kids).

Obviously, I was expecting a full on meltdown at drop off.  My concern only heightened when he spotted a teacher eating donuts (his favorite thing in life) and pointed and raised his eyebrows.  I nervously laughed it off and said, those are her donuts, baby.  I'll get you some for tomorrow.  Then I held my breath.

It was time for the kiss goodbye and the tears and the stern, "you have to go join your class, baby.  I love you. Have a great day!"  Except, I gave him a kiss, and he trotted off and sat down with his class.  No tears.

In shock, I scooted toward the gym exit and peaked back over my shoulder expecting his big brown eyes welled up with tears and a "mommy, don't go!."  Nope.  He was immersed in the movie they were watching and laughing.  

No tears!!!  

Maybe it's a fluke (please don't let it be a fluke), or maybe it's that he's finally adjusting.  Either way, it felt so good to be leaving him happy at the start of the day.

Tomorrow he turns 4.  And I am totally going to hop him up on sugar by giving him donuts for breakfast and wake him up to balloons and take treats to school he can share with his class.  This weekend, we're going to party with everyone's favorite rat (it's kind of a long and annoying story as to why we're doing the same thing this year as last year).  And I'm going to spend the week fighting tears until I adjust to my very first baby turning 4.

This time 4 years ago, I was preparing to embark on the best journey I have ever taken.  Nothing else could ever compare to being a mom to my kids.  My Silas is the one who showed me the ropes.

Happy (almost) birthday to my (still my baby) big boy!