I'm pretty sure we're all going to survive parenthood

You know why I don’t worry about keeping up with the Joneses?  Because I figured out the Joneses are probably so busy trying to get their shiz together when the door is closed that they can’t keep up with themselves.

I've got enough friends and read enough blogs about motherhood that I've come to realize that none of us are really firing on all cylinders all the time.  Even those families who seemingly have it all together?  Yeah, they have missed baths and dirty dishes in the sink and cheerios in their floorboards sometimes too.

I think we all worry about the areas where we think we’re falling short.  How many nights in a row has my kid eaten mac n’ cheese? Or Do we have enough underwear to make it one more day without me doing laundry? Or How many times can I be 10 minutes late to work/preschool drop off/ballet before anyone notices? Or Wait, was it my turn to bring snacks? 

We are concerned we aren't doing a good enough job raising our kids and making time for our friends and families and keeping the house clean and taking care of ourselves.  But the point is that we are concerned, and that means we keep getting up and trying to do better.  And really, what more can we do?

Sometimes I’m falling short in all kinds of areas.  For instance, my life usually looks like this:

• Hmm. I’ve gotten so behind on laundry and that pile is almost as tall as me now. Where's the step ladder? 

• You need a fork? Well, the dishwasher is loaded but hasn’t been run in, like, days. Can you use a spoon?

• Oh crap, I forgot bath time last night, where are the wet wipes?

• Oh right, you’re hungry.  What can I microwave for dinner?

• What attorney have I forgotten and for how long cause that’s the one who gets priority today!

• How can I need gas again? Can I make it back to the suburbs without running out because gas is outrageous in the city and lord knows it will be a miracle if I have more than $5 in my checking account.

But, you know, I'm trying.  And once in a while, I have a perfect day when I get it all right.  But more often than not I have about a month of days where I'm getting a whole lot of it wrong.  

So, when I have a friend who is coming face to face with a minor meltdown because too many things or one really big thing has gone haywire, my heart reaches out and hugs them.  My brain tries to pull up some similar mess I’ve faced down and come out on the other side of because sometimes that’s what we need.  Just to know that we aren’t alone and that we will survive it.  And I’m fairly confident that we are all going to survive it.

I think we need to just triumph in our victories no matter how minor.  (You're caught up on laundry?  Well, then, please do go grab one of your kid's juice boxes and a cookie and give yourself a pat on the back.)

So, for what it’s worth, you have my permission to take the pressure to be perfect off yourself and just say, “I’m doing the best I can.  I checked off 4 of the 400 things on my daily list.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll run the dishwasher.  For now, we have paper plates.”