Sorry I left you hanging with a story about vomit. It's definitely been a Chick-fil-a kind of week. Thank God Emma and Tina talked me into picking it up on the way back from the doctor.
I'm not sure why moving has to be such a nightmare. I clearly do not come from nomadic people because I am the least organized mover on the planet. God forbid outside forces conspire to throw a wrench in the works. I'm not sure this move will ever actually happen. Between my utter lack of moving skills and my landlord's utter lack of communication skills, records have been set in the number of delays experienced.
Therefore, do not be surprised if I go M.I.A. for a few while we get this ironed out.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Today's update
Today's update is......I just puked in my trash can at work.
Perhaps I have a sympathy hangover for all my friends who got drunk last night to welcome home our buddy from Iraq, or perhaps Silas doesn't like breakfast burritos.
Michael came (loudly) home at about 1:30 or 2:00 in the morning and made breakfast burritos. He tried mightily to drag me out of bed to feed me, but I'm in a sleeping-wins-out-over-food stage of pregnancy. Therefore, I waved him away. I decided this morning to stop and get a breakfast burrito because they really did smell good. Three bites in and it all came back up into my trash can. So, now I have to deal with vomit at work.
Shaping up to be a beautiful day.
Perhaps I have a sympathy hangover for all my friends who got drunk last night to welcome home our buddy from Iraq, or perhaps Silas doesn't like breakfast burritos.
Michael came (loudly) home at about 1:30 or 2:00 in the morning and made breakfast burritos. He tried mightily to drag me out of bed to feed me, but I'm in a sleeping-wins-out-over-food stage of pregnancy. Therefore, I waved him away. I decided this morning to stop and get a breakfast burrito because they really did smell good. Three bites in and it all came back up into my trash can. So, now I have to deal with vomit at work.
Shaping up to be a beautiful day.
Monday, August 24, 2009
This beholder's eye
My best friend came to town this weekend. She and I are both moving next weekend, so we did some furniture shopping. She was looking for a chair, so I dragged her to the store where Michael and I have picked out our living room furniture.
Upon pointing out the furniture that Michael and I have agreed to purchase and put in our living room, she announced that she hated it. No skin off my nose, really. I pretty much expected that she (and the majority of the rest of the population that are actually good at decorating and dressing themselves) would.
My requirements for furniture and clothing are very, very similar to all the people selected to be on reality shows on TLC. "It's comfortable." When Michael and I were shopping, I rejected every couch (regardless of how cute it was) that would not allow me to "stretch out and take a nap without needing a pillow." That was literally my only criteria. Once I had found that couch, determining whether it was kid-friendly and dog-friendly (how easy does puke/marker/play-doh come out and how easy does it rip) also occurred to me to be important. After learning that the store will scotch guard it within an inch of its life, I was sold.
I also suck at dressing myself. A co-worker and I were discussing clothing, and I casually stated that someone should turn me into What Not to Wear. She immediately and whole-heartedly agreed to be that person. I'm so sadly in need of help that she didn't give a moment of pause or even throw me the "you don't dress that bad" bone. I own cute clothing (most of it is packed in garbage bags and waiting to be taken to the new house). I definitely own cute shoes (half in boxes, half in the closet floor, none on my feet). However, being comfortable has become far more important to me than looking cute. Therefore, I mostly dress like a slob.
So, I have to remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that beautiful to me is being able to throw on a pair of sweat pants, curl up on my overstuffed couch and watch all those losers on What Not to Wear get ambushed.
Upon pointing out the furniture that Michael and I have agreed to purchase and put in our living room, she announced that she hated it. No skin off my nose, really. I pretty much expected that she (and the majority of the rest of the population that are actually good at decorating and dressing themselves) would.
My requirements for furniture and clothing are very, very similar to all the people selected to be on reality shows on TLC. "It's comfortable." When Michael and I were shopping, I rejected every couch (regardless of how cute it was) that would not allow me to "stretch out and take a nap without needing a pillow." That was literally my only criteria. Once I had found that couch, determining whether it was kid-friendly and dog-friendly (how easy does puke/marker/play-doh come out and how easy does it rip) also occurred to me to be important. After learning that the store will scotch guard it within an inch of its life, I was sold.
I also suck at dressing myself. A co-worker and I were discussing clothing, and I casually stated that someone should turn me into What Not to Wear. She immediately and whole-heartedly agreed to be that person. I'm so sadly in need of help that she didn't give a moment of pause or even throw me the "you don't dress that bad" bone. I own cute clothing (most of it is packed in garbage bags and waiting to be taken to the new house). I definitely own cute shoes (half in boxes, half in the closet floor, none on my feet). However, being comfortable has become far more important to me than looking cute. Therefore, I mostly dress like a slob.
So, I have to remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that beautiful to me is being able to throw on a pair of sweat pants, curl up on my overstuffed couch and watch all those losers on What Not to Wear get ambushed.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Bad boys, bad boys
Last night, I was reminded of that part of me that desperately desires to become the character in whatever movie I've just watched or book I've just read. However, this time, the "characters" were real women who really go out and kick ass and take names just like the boys.
When I was in junior high, my best friend, Sarah, and I watched Independence Day and decided we were going to join the air force and be fighter pilots. A few years later, I was dating a boy who planned to join the Marines, and his recruiter got his clutches on my ASVAB scores and pestered me to join the Marines every time he saw me. However, by that time, I was old enough to have been programmed into believing that girly-girls do not join the military/become police officers/fly to the moon.
Now, I know that we have progressed light years in a few short decades when it comes to the way women are treated in the workplace, but it's still rare to see a woman manage to straddle both sides of the fence between looking like a girl and kicking ass like a boy.
The four women featured in the show Police Women of Broward County somehow manage to be girly (as in they haven't decided that wearing a little lip gloss makes them less capable of taking down drug dealers) and be great cops. It is as if it never crossed their mind that they should shed all semblance of femininity in order to fit in and do a good job.
That is why I watched three episodes in a row and then pretended to myself that I was in good enough shape to become a cop. I have even been inspired to clean out space in my DVR to devote to these mascara wearing, gun carrying, real-life super heroes.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Kinda want to toss my Cookies...
So, I get magazine subscriptions out of nowhere quite frequently. So far, I've gotten Women's Health (ha. ha, ha, ha), Elle, Glamour, and as of this last weekend, Cookie.
Cookie magazine is a parenting magazine, so I was kind of excited about it. I could see that there was an article about Jenny McCarthy's campaign regarding vaccines and autism. So, I thought this Cookie was going to have some meat on its bones. Michael fell asleep (sitting straight up on the couch with his mouth wide open) Sunday afternoon, so I decided to peruse my new magazine.
My concern started approximately three pages in...the ads resembled the ads in my Elle magazine. There was one for Tiffany & Co. very near the front. However, I pressed on. Ads generate income and Tiffany & Co. probably has more income than Osh Kosh. There were several other moments of pause, but then I reached the deal breaker page. It was an "article" about essential wardrobe pieces for moms. There was a page in the article covered with gorgeous trench coats (love trench coats, think they are adorable). The page contained at least six that were $650 plus. There was not a single "affordable" option (even fashion magazines have become aware of the economic crisis we are in and offer up cheaper, cute alternatives to the crap that their average reader cannot afford). I'm not sure why Cookie's priorities are so jacked up and out of whack, but I'm not even planning to spend $650 on my son's crib, much less on a coat he is going to puke on.
So, I don't know how I got on the random magazine subscription mailing list, but I know I am not Cookie's target demographic. I'm not sure Cookie's target demographic lives within 5 zip codes of me.
Cookie magazine is a parenting magazine, so I was kind of excited about it. I could see that there was an article about Jenny McCarthy's campaign regarding vaccines and autism. So, I thought this Cookie was going to have some meat on its bones. Michael fell asleep (sitting straight up on the couch with his mouth wide open) Sunday afternoon, so I decided to peruse my new magazine.
My concern started approximately three pages in...the ads resembled the ads in my Elle magazine. There was one for Tiffany & Co. very near the front. However, I pressed on. Ads generate income and Tiffany & Co. probably has more income than Osh Kosh. There were several other moments of pause, but then I reached the deal breaker page. It was an "article" about essential wardrobe pieces for moms. There was a page in the article covered with gorgeous trench coats (love trench coats, think they are adorable). The page contained at least six that were $650 plus. There was not a single "affordable" option (even fashion magazines have become aware of the economic crisis we are in and offer up cheaper, cute alternatives to the crap that their average reader cannot afford). I'm not sure why Cookie's priorities are so jacked up and out of whack, but I'm not even planning to spend $650 on my son's crib, much less on a coat he is going to puke on.
So, I don't know how I got on the random magazine subscription mailing list, but I know I am not Cookie's target demographic. I'm not sure Cookie's target demographic lives within 5 zip codes of me.
Check, check, check it out
There is a blog I read and follow that I feel more people should know about. So, I'm doing a shout out: http://champagnefridays.blogspot.com/
Seriously, this girl is hilarious. I am having one of those crying-into-a-pint-of-mint-chocolate-chip kind of days, and she whips out some rant about Affliction t-shirts and makes me feel so much better about my life and the fact that my husband does not own a single Ed Hardy or Affliction piece of apparel. I don't know her. She is a friend of a friend, so don't let the fact that she is a stranger to you put you off. She feels like one of those "voice of the people" kind of people. Also, if you're a Gossip Girl kind of person (never seen it), she does a whole thing about them.
So, cheers to Champagne Fridays!
Seriously, this girl is hilarious. I am having one of those crying-into-a-pint-of-mint-chocolate-chip kind of days, and she whips out some rant about Affliction t-shirts and makes me feel so much better about my life and the fact that my husband does not own a single Ed Hardy or Affliction piece of apparel. I don't know her. She is a friend of a friend, so don't let the fact that she is a stranger to you put you off. She feels like one of those "voice of the people" kind of people. Also, if you're a Gossip Girl kind of person (never seen it), she does a whole thing about them.
So, cheers to Champagne Fridays!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Brain Surgery Intern Needed...and other jaw-dropping posts
Allow me to assist you in losing a couple of hours of your life to the internet today:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/
Because I am always getting emails with links to entertaining websites and such from my co-worker/friend, Emma, my time-wasting abilities have increased exponentially over the last year (good for the soul, bad for the billing). Perhaps all of you knew about all of these magnificent cyber-meccas of entertainment, but I am always flabbergasted by the fact that so many people have created so many websites that a) I know nothing about and b) once I am introduced, I visit obsessively and stay on them until it feels like my eyes may bleed.
Today's site-I-knew-nothing-about-and-now-love is Craig's List's "best of". I made myself stop after the first three because it is Friday and there is no way to make up lost billable time for the week, but the first three left me in stitches. Here is a sample:
"Need a Brain Surgery Intern ASAP! I have just been diagnosed with a brain tumor and the doctor says that I only have 3 months to live unless I have brain surgery. This is an unpaid operation, but you will receive credit and snacks while you are operating. This is a good way to build up your resume by networking with others who need free surgery. If you do a good job, and I live, this may lead to future PAID surgeries!
If you have your own surgery tools and anesthesia, that is a plus and you move to the front of the line.
Please respond with a link to all of the operations that you have performed, transcripts from the universities that you attended, and a copy of your MCAT scores.
Please only respond if you are SERIOUS. You must be a team player and have your own car.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/
Because I am always getting emails with links to entertaining websites and such from my co-worker/friend, Emma, my time-wasting abilities have increased exponentially over the last year (good for the soul, bad for the billing). Perhaps all of you knew about all of these magnificent cyber-meccas of entertainment, but I am always flabbergasted by the fact that so many people have created so many websites that a) I know nothing about and b) once I am introduced, I visit obsessively and stay on them until it feels like my eyes may bleed.
Today's site-I-knew-nothing-about-and-now-love is Craig's List's "best of". I made myself stop after the first three because it is Friday and there is no way to make up lost billable time for the week, but the first three left me in stitches. Here is a sample:
"Need a Brain Surgery Intern ASAP! I have just been diagnosed with a brain tumor and the doctor says that I only have 3 months to live unless I have brain surgery. This is an unpaid operation, but you will receive credit and snacks while you are operating. This is a good way to build up your resume by networking with others who need free surgery. If you do a good job, and I live, this may lead to future PAID surgeries!
If you have your own surgery tools and anesthesia, that is a plus and you move to the front of the line.
Please respond with a link to all of the operations that you have performed, transcripts from the universities that you attended, and a copy of your MCAT scores.
Please only respond if you are SERIOUS. You must be a team player and have your own car.
- Location: Atlanta
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
- Compensation: no pay"
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