Could you people please channel your inner Jeff Gordon?

I know that every person in every city on the planet thinks the traffic in their city is the worst, and we all whine and moan about how awful it is to drive to work. So, I don't mean to be dramatic about this, but I must put a serious bid in for Dallas' traffic to at least be in the top five. My chief complaint is that the traffic here makes no sense.

It is rare that I am stuck stock still on the freeway for an hour and a half because there is a wreck or a stalled car or a thousand jars of mayo smashed to pieces on the freeway. As a matter of fact, when there is an actual reason for the traffic here, I am completely relieved. Because once I get past the wreck/stalled car/mayo disaster, traffic flows freely once more, and my blood pressure begins to return to normal. However, that is almost never the case.

This morning, I came to a complete stop on the freeway no less than 15 times. When I was moving, I was traveling approximately 10 mph. It was like this for 3/4's of my commute. There was no wreck, there was no stalled car, there was no spilled mayo. There was just traffic for no reason.

Dallas has some of the most rude, aggressive drivers I have ever had the pleasure of sharing a road with. (Side note: I was back home driving a friend around after I had lived in TX for a while, and the friend stated, "You drive like a Texan now." I didn't know whether to be ashamed or proud.) So, why all this made up traffic? You bunch of angry southerners have no problem cutting me off doing 110 when I have nowhere to be. How about a little bit of that NASCAR spirit on a Monday morning?